Today I’m speaking with Dorci Hill, a radio host, author of three books, speaker and an expert on whole body wellness. When Dorci’s mother died suddenly at an early age, it was the catalyst that changed the pathway Dorci was traveling into a lifelong search for complete, holistic balance between the mind, body and spirit. 

In the episode you’ll hear: 

• 3 things Dorci does every morning to set the right tone for the day
• What she does right before bed to reset her brain and get restful sleep
• The one productivity tool she can’t live without
• Practical ways to boost your mood and get out of a funk
• How your rebellious inner child can start wreaking havoc if you don’t do this one thing 
• The one thing to do if you’re afraid of public speaking or nervous before a big speech
• Understanding the difference between your ego and intuition

If you’re inspired by this episode, I’d love to hear your biggest Aha! moments. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories and tag me, @christieturley!

LINKS:

Dorci’s “Habitual Happiness: The Habit System Designed to Make You Happier” Handbook: http://bit.ly/happinesshandbook  

Dorci’s Website, LinkedIn & Facebook.  

Meditation Apps: SyncTuition, Think Up, Relax Melodies, Insight Timer

Get 20% off Epic Matcha’s Organic Matcha and the Morning Ritual Challenge with Coupon Code: MINDMUSE

Transcript:

Christie:
welcome to the mind muse podcast. And I’m your host Christie Turley and today my special guest Dorsey Hill joins me. She is an entrepreneur and a healing dance therapist. She is the best-selling author of three books, and she’s here to talk with us about having a happy mindset. And one of the things that is so interesting that she has taught is that it is impossible, impossible to be frustrated and happy at the same time. And so she believes that being creative and being productive is all about being happy. And she is here to share some Micro habits and so mindsets that we can practice to set ourselves up with a happy mindset.

Christie:
So Welcome Dorsey.

Dorci:
Oh my goodness. I am so excited to be here. Thank you so much. I’m ready to talk. And I’m excited.

Christie:
So can you tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and your background?

Dorci:
Oh, Oh, my star is a little bit, you were asking the wrong or right into the conversation. Perfect. Well, I guess I want to say like really now what I’m doing is taking all of these years that I had put different mind, body spirit practices into place and combining it into one thing which all revolves around the root for me, which is happy. And that also stems from, I have two degrees in the health sciences.

Dorci:
So I love how the body works on a very simplistic level and then putting simple steps in micro habits and to a place that helped you create a healthy, happy, fun life. So that’s really me in a nutshell, and I co authored three bestselling books, which is a very excited about working on my fourth one and have a weekly radio show as well, or I help spread laughter love, giggles, all of that kind of thing. And so it really, in a nutshell, that’s me and I, and by the way, I do break into a spontaneous dance and I love chocolate and cheesecake. Oh, okay. Well thank you for the work. So that’s awesome. Well, good. I, you know what fascinates me about what you just said is this idea of how small things can become big things. This whole idea of Kaizen, which is a Japanese philosophy, that little improvements over time, you know, improving maybe by 1% every day can have a huge cumulative effect. And you mentioned something about Happiness and these micro habits and mindset. Can you, can you tell us a little bit more about that and maybe some examples of some micro Habits that you have,

Dorci:
You know, I love talking in micro steps and that actually stems from my chemistry background because I was pre-med when I was in college. And so I knew I had to take chemistry and biology and all of these other classes and we took Micro biology. So it was all these, instead of these huge instruments and a test tubes and all of us, it was these little bitty ones and you were doing these small reactions and that really just peaked my interest because I love little things. And if I could say a small step, because let’s face it, if you, if you hear some people say, Oh, 10 steps to this, or it’s going to take 30 days, some people go, Oh, I can’t, even if it’s already instead of going, Oh wait, if you can do three little things today and do those and tell you, make it a habit where your nice and thinking that, thinking about it in, you’re just doing it.

Dorci:
And you can add to that and add to the end. And all of a sudden you have these aha moments where you go, Oh wow, I’ve gotten rid of this. I don’t do that. I’ve changed this. And you’d have this whole list of things that you’re now doing subconsciously and it has made your life healthier. It’s made your life happier. And one of the big things for me, a simple step is honestly, and I know it’s overused. I get it. It really does make a difference is gratitude. You know? And if it, if for some people it’s hard to say, well, I already know what to be grateful for. Or I did an article on this called gratitude show gratitude, no one ever.

Dorci:
I think maybe it is if you can wake up every day and whatever, it’s like a rough, well, I think we still have the five things you think have in the morning. It’s what sets the tone for you today. So if you can get up in the first thing that you think is I am healthy. Well, then your mind immediately goes to work on ways to make that happen. And if you need to write it down, put it on some notes, as you know, I put it on a, on your mirror, on your desk or whatever. So I love the little notes because I’m visual. So that’s a great little way to put one to no more than three little things, whether it’s gratitude sayings or a motivational sayings, because it’s, if you can do that for me, that’s one of the things that when I see that, then that helps set my day.

Dorci:
’cause if you get up and start looking at social and all this other mess news, read the newspapers, we can’t help to go to kind of the bad stuff or read, you know, all the nuts. So great. And then you kind of go off on that rabbit hole, you know, and you get stuck on a sort of The, not so pretty things. Or if you can have that mindset where I’m grateful for Today, or Today is easy. Everything I do today comes with ease then guess what? That’s what your day is going to be created from.

Christie:
Yeah. And I love that you say that, and there’s a couple of things that you said that I wanna kind of dig in to a little bit more because you mentioned gratitude, but I’m also hearing some affirmations in there. So, and, and this whole idea of whatever you start the day with is kind of what you set the tone for the day. So if you wanted to set it off on a really negative, anxious moment, you would go on your phone, first thing, and dig through your social media or looking at the news. What happened while I was sleeping and, and gratitude. It, it really does change everything. Yes. And for people who might be having a difficult time, finding something to be grateful for, I love how you said, you know, Hey, I’m just grateful to have my health, or if you don’t have your health, Hey, are you breathing?

Christie:
They folded into the five and just starting there. It’s, it’s the highest emotion that we can feel. So that’s it’s so, so tell, tell me the, a little bit about the difference between what does practicing gratitude look like? What, or what if someone wanted to start a gratitude practice, what would they do to start? And then also the affirmations. I want to talk about that after you answer.

Dorci:
Okay. I’m going to write myself a note. I’m a note taker, So, okay, great. Cause I don’t, I get off on tangent. Okay. Well, here’s something I’d love to talk about as a writer and an avid reader. I’d love to book end the day. So what I would tell people when I talk about being grateful or having a gratitude system in your life, if you will, because I know a lot of, if your listeners are in the entrepreneurial space where the business space, so they are more of a system oriented. So if you put a gratitude system in place, start off the day with, and I, and I really, I love three because it’s a, it’s an easy number.

Dorci:
It’s also in numerology, a very powerful number. And so pick three things, even if you don’t believe it yet, take the three things that are in your highest and greatest good saying, I am healthy, or I have abundant health. I am wealthy, you know, or I am prosperous, whatever words you want to use. And then whatever other one you want to pick, you know, my day flows with ease or I have a happy family, whatever is most important to you. So pick three. And I would say either, take your phone and record yourself saying this so that you hear your voice.

Dorci:
Or if you are more visual, put them on a post-it note on a sticky note and stick them somewhere where you’re doing your morning routine, whether it’s for most people, we’re going to be vibey in your bathroom, in the mirror. So you can see it as you get ready as you’re brushing your teeth, whatever, then to book it at the end of the day. Cause now you started the day, you started your mind thinking of happy, thoughts of grateful, thoughts of ease of health. So the mind only knows what you tell it. So if you tell it I’m happy, I’m grateful. I’m wealthy. I am working with EAs. It immediately goes to graph all of those things.

Dorci:
You, and then at the end of the day, right before you go to sleep, because whatever you think as you’re going to sleep, your mind immediately works. You know, and I know people know this because if you go to bed and have a problem is like your mind, Stew’s on it. And Stew’s on it all night. You toss your turn. You don’t have sleep very well. If you go to bed and look at those same three and just say, I am grateful for the ease in which my day float, I’m grateful for how healthy I was Today or whatever. The three you put down. And do you say, thank you as you’re going to sleep through those three, your mind works on creating more because your mind creates a loop and it starts looking for those gratitude, grateful moments.

Dorci:
And then it becomes easier to add in a forth to add it in a fifth, one way to add in more.

Christie:
Yeah. I love that. Yeah. And it’s so funny. It’s like, how many of us watch TV right before we go to bed? Wow. And then, and then have dreams about people chasing us or, you know, it’s like, okay, it’s fine. You can watch TV before bed. But before you drift off, all we’re saying is you have this practice. So you reset your brain, you reset your mind and you can go in to this subconscious state. Now, do you know any of the science behind this? Like, like alpha waves stayed away from Delta waves, anything like that?

Dorci:
Oh, you know, they’re, there is a course or a tons of science. And I loved the, what they call my neuro beats because the music, the music in, in different meditative songs or even spoke in meditation are made to resinate to where they will pain. If you will, you know, attach onto different neural centers in the brain and cause relaxation, they will because you know, eight, your body to stop creating so many physical stressors. And that’s been proven, which I love. So as you go through these different States of sleep, and one thing I do like to tell people, this is, if you watch TV, I don’t watch TV.

Dorci:
Before we go to bed. I don’t want you in bed. I was just one of those. My bedroom is my sleep sanctuary. So my body knows the minute I go in that room and get in that bag is time to sleep. Not at work, it’s time to sleep and repair. And I get a lot of people do listen to something as they drift off, you know, or something. And to Hastick guided, spoken meditation is that you can listen to, that will shift you out of that crazy spinning mind wear it slows the mind. It, it gets you into the different, you know, alpha and beta waves as you’re going to go into the deeper sleep and also recreate these gratitude patterns.

Dorci:
So that’s what I love about a lot of the science behind it, because it makes sense the way the nurse, the nerves and the neurons worked when you put these specific sound waves. Cause the thing is you can actually put somebody up and see on a monitor the different ways and you can see the sound frequency matching up to your actual neural frequency, which is fantastic.

Christie:
Yep. Yeah. I’m obsessed with brain waves and I think it’s so, so, so interesting. Especially like if you’re trying to concentrate during the day or be more creative inducing, an alpha state, which is the alpha waves of, of your brain. Like you had mentioned that the, by neuro a music or whatever it, you can find them on. Do you have some apps? There is some apps in the music that All

Dorci:
Girl, let me tell you, I just found this new wine. There’s a couple, I’m going to make sure that I say the right one. I have a few books tomorrow on YouTube. So there was some for free, which I love free. And you know, I’d love some that are in a few that are paid to of my favorite. R a S

Christie:
Yes. And I’ll put these in the show notes too. So yeah,

Dorci:
Yeah. Are doxy. And it’s like a doc said D a U T C H S Y doxy, some of the most fantastic. And then meditative thoughts. I believe it was one of the other ones. That’s the, one of my favorites. Those are some great ones. And there’s a new app that I just got, believe it or not that you just said that sync tuition. Ooh, I like that name. I know you can, you get, you can do seven days for free and then you have to pay like a yearly subscription. And I think you get three or four 25 minute meditations at all times. And then to do the rest, to unlock the rest, you have to pay for it.

Dorci:
They are wonderful for someone who is two things. And this cracks me up when people, when I say like do some sort of meditative practice or yoga practice or gratitude system or whatever, and they’d go, Oh, Darcy, I can sit around in Lotus position in yoga pants, with my, my fingers together and All, all day long. I’m like, okay, great. I don’t either. That’s not what I’m talking about. Or they’ll say, Oh, I can’t meditate because I can’t, you know, cut the shot in my mind off. And I’m thinking, you’re the person that needs to do it. Right. Because your mind to it,

Christie:
I was one of those people. Like it would say it would say that. And I’ve found that yeah, I, I definitely needed it.

Dorci:
So, you know, our minds, your computer’s, we forget how powerful they are and it’s, it needs a break because we can’t plug into a computer, download everything, put it in different folders and then start fresh. So we have to give it a chance to slow down reorganize and not be so scattered so that it can find the solutions. It can search for the answer to the problems and create the opportunities that are in a frenzy state. It’s not going to find, you know, right. And something to, I don’t know if anyone does this, we were talking about sleep. Something I found out recently, if you’re someone, because I was guilty of this, if you set your alarm and you snooze it even once or twice, a couple times, it creates what’s called sleep inertia.

Dorci:
I had not heard of that. I was like, Oh, this is interesting. So if you do that in the morning, then it literally creates about a three to four hour period after that, where you don’t really have the focus where you’re sort of scattered. And I thought, Oh my gosh, that’s so true. Because some days, if it was like eight o’clock, you know, I was getting up a little bit later and then all of a sudden it would be between 10 to 12 before I started really getting going. So that’s something to think about too, is getting up out of it, not snoozing, and immediately start getting your mind thinking on those positive, grateful thoughts, and then you recreate a whole new thing.

Dorci:
All right.

Christie:
I love it. Well, I wanted to mention, I want to share to of my favorite apps I had, I think you can record your own affirmations and then you can have it go to the music. Now it’s not by neural But beats. But what I found is that you can turn on another app, relax melodies, and you can put on the binaural app, a binaural beats, which is again, those alpha waves that you want to have during the day or Delta or a theta waves at night. And you can use it either with headphones or without they have different options for that. So that’s really cool. And I even kind of nerded out one day and I’m on my own, I’m in a garage band on my, on my com and I just typed up all these affirmations that I wanted to start to sink in.

Christie:
And then I put it to, I actually made two tracks, one that was alpha. So I could listen to it during the day, very subtly suggesting to my mind I was working as well as listened to it right before bed or, or even, you know, upon waking up, you know, while I’m brushing my teeth or whatever. So yeah. And I found it to be very helpful. And then for my gratitude practice, actually write in a journal and I’ll just write things that I’m grateful for now, you know? And so anyway, there’s a lot of, so that we have,

Dorci:
I was something I do you want to say just real quick if I may, or is something that also helped me. And I see a lot of people are here. A lot of people do this, you know, when we were talking about being an, a state of gratitude, because then you’re also open to receiving a key to that is to stop claiming the bad or the not so great that it’s in your life, including, or illnesses or situations or Josh, because it’s so easy to go into, you know, being on the struggle bus or being in a negative attitude. And when I stopped claiming for one thing or a health stuff, I stopped to saying my allergies or my digestion,

Christie:
I feel this way instead of this, connecting from it a little bit, like my body feels tired and I feel tired.

Dorci:
Yes. I would say I’m having a histamine reaction.

Christie:
My body is experiencing allergy. It’s true because it’s so amazing. It is. And it, and that is actually how you can more positively frame it. So it doesn’t become an affirmation, you know, or a self-fulfilling prophecy like, Oh, every, you know, fall, I feel this way, you know, it’s like Are, or whatever it is true. Cause your mind, whether you’re aware or not is taking in the information on your subconscious, which is the thing that runs the whole show. Like let’s just, you know, we think it’s our conscious mind. No, no, no, it’s this subconscious stuff.

Christie:
The stuff is buried beneath, but we actually yeah. Becoming your thoughts and your actions and everything

Dorci:
So well, you know, they say it’s just so true to your thoughts become things. And where do you focus energy flows. So if you focus on and only seeing the bad, the negative, the not so great or the unhealthy, well, guess what, that’s all you’re going to have because you will manifest it physically you’ll manifest physical symptoms and you will manifest physical situations. Yes. So true. So true. Well, you

Christie:
Talk a lot about, and I think it’s the Happiness mindset handbook that you have that I take a look at. You’ll have a lot of tips in there. Could you share just a few Habits maybe that someone could adopt during the day too, to have more of a happy attitude again, it’s like, you know, it’s hard to be a a hundred percent like, no, one’s perfect. No one’s happy or 100% out of the time, like right. You and not being afraid to, to feel the opposite emotions either. Cause it’s important to have the full gamut in this life. Right. But it also just to be a healthy person.

Christie:
Right. But how can we, how can we infuse more Happiness?

Dorci:
Well, okay. You know, and I, I say this in the Happiness handbook and it’s true. I realized, you know, and I’m not delusional is that, you know, I have ups and downs and good days and bad days and I have some struggles and whatnot, you know? So I’m not saying that every day is like, you know, a Rose colored glass, you know, glitter a unicorn Rose world and that’s the world I want to be in it. And I strive to look at things from that viewpoint. However, yes. Things are going to come up. What I find is that I’ve worked really hard to develop. It’s a, it’s almost like I Happiness, mussel, you know, like with any habit.

Dorci:
And so now my subconscious, because I put so many steps and things into place for myself that it’s an easy situation or an easy place to go back to that Happiness state. And you know, it can be depending on like, I’m, I’m a very active, very creative, very much in movement. And I have a hard time sitting still. So one of the things for me, if I, if I have to sit at a desk all day, I go bananas. I just can’t do it. So I will give myself, I don’t know if you’ve heard Pomodoro time. Oh yeah,

Christie:
Yeah, yeah. Explain what it is for those that might not have

Dorci:
Pomodoro time is just, you know, and I’d love, you can get a cute timer on your phone are an actual, like an old fashioned, like a timer or something like that, you know, and putting on your desk or your, your desk and set it for about 30 minutes and then just really go crazy for 30 solid minutes on one task. And it’s amazing when you compartmentalize time like that, how much do you get done? And your mind doesn’t wonder. And then I will get up because for me, one of my happy places is moving is dancing. So of course you have to find what makes you happy? You know, what makes your inner child happy? Whether it’s it’s coloring, it’s being, you know, moving around, maybe listening to a, a funny or a cool song that you really like, you have a playlist.

Dorci:
So for me, it’s getting up, moving around, whether it’s going outside, I have a balance ball I’ll sometimes sit on and kind of be a little bouncy, a little hippy to half of the, you know, kinda thing. Cause it makes me happy. It gets me out of that. Work, work, work, work, work, work mindset in my mind, relax is a little bit, it has some fun. And then I can come back and do another 30 minutes of Pomodoro or heavy work time. It’s amazing how much one of you get done. And I guess what is the end of the day? When you look at everything that you’ve cleared off, tell me you’re not happy.

Christie:
Yeah. And I like it too, because its kind of a game, its kind of like, you know, C how much I could get it done in these 30 minutes.

Dorci:
I know it really is amazing when you put your mind to it. The mind is just so powerful. What you can accomplish in short increments of time instead of trying to have this, because I’ll be honest with you if I had an entire list of things and if I could look at that, that alone exhausts me. Okay, I’m already done just looking at that list even though I know it needs to be done. If I can look at it and go, okay, whatever I can do for the next 30 minutes. Perfect. So do you know, that’s a great little bit easy typ you know, to, to start creating new habits because even though it’s more work-related when you get things done and you know, you’ve done them well and they’re cleared off it, doesn’t put you in a state of I’m going to do this.

Dorci:
I need to do this. We gotta to do that. I got to finish that because that’s a loot. That is a very destructive. Yeah. And if you can get out of that and do these little increments lines at the end of the day, you got, Oh my gosh, look how much I did. Then you’re like excited and you’re ready to do more. And then you have time to do more. So that’s an easy one. Of course we’ve already talked about, you know, the bookie and being coz I love book-ending starting and ending your day with gratitude, you know? So those are a couple of, it was easy.

Christie:
I wanted to just follow up too. Like I think it’s so important just to re-emphasize that whole point about, you know, when you’re just working and working and working heads down, like you’re going to get burned out so much faster. And I have a mentor that is always saying, like take a win, you know? And what she means by that is not necessarily like go on a shopping spree, although that wouldn’t be out of a question or a really big deal. Right. But the point, the point is to take these smaller wins more frequently. Yes. And it could be as simple as going and getting your favorite favorite drink at the cafe or do you know whatever it is, you know?

Christie:
And, and that, that is so important. And like you say, you were saying the inner child, what makes your inner child happy? We all have won. We like to pretend we don’t have one

Dorci:
Oh one in there and she, or he is there

Christie:
And they’re going to kick and scream. If you don’t take a break, eventually you’re going to get burned out. Exactly. Yeah. What are we talking about?

Dorci:
Talk to about that today? You know, as I said, I have a, a radio show myself and I had talked about that with my guest today. You’re rebellious inner child. And that’s where we get into when you don’t let them out or find what makes them happy because it never goes away. And I guarantee you, there’s some little thing that you can do, whether it’s in your day or whatever, you know, we even gave some examples in one of us, okay. I’m not recommending this because this would make me agitated. Although this was kind of funny. She had a mentor in a mastermind group that gave them how I was like, Oh, I would have to just slap her. I think for this is she gave them ice cream cones. Okay.

Dorci:
Ice cream. And they went to lick it and it was actually mashed potatoes on the ice. I was like, you’re a little sticker. I think I was a chocolate

Christie:
Cookie and you buy it and then

Dorci:
You go, Hey, random in there. And I said, no, no. I said that. Of course. I mean, because it’s not a, it’s not an ugly preg. And of course everybody laughed about it and then they did go get actual ice cream, you know? And so sometimes just ha having a little bit of fun, acting up just a little bit, but it doesn’t hurt somebody that gives you that moment of laughter of joy lightens the moment. And then it’s amazing how easy it is to get back into your day. And it flows easier without the struggle,

Christie:
Right? Yes. Yeah. Cause this is actually fun and something that you’re enjoying, you’re enjoying the journey. It’s not a destination, it’s a journey. Right. We always hear that. But finding the joy and the journey is the key, right? Yes. Yes. So for someone who is not finding joy in the journey, let’s just say like, what are some ways for someone to get out of a funk? Right.

Dorci:
You know, and that, so it depends, I’m, I’m a huge believer in your mind, body spirit or anything that every body, you know, physical body, it’s so different. And I can say, Oh my God, the best plan, the best ideas and you know, help everybody. Okay. Well that, I’m already telling a big fat fish because it’s not going to help everybody. So when I talk to people, I really do sit and figure out, okay, what used to, if you’re not in a happy place now when you were younger. So you’re going to have to think back a little bit. What really made you happy? What was it, riding a bike with your arms out, letting the wind kind of just rush around you or was it sitting under a tree listening to the leave?

Dorci:
Was it going to a water source? You know, was it coloring or singing a guarantee? We were talking, Oh, well, yes. I know I was, I had that on my, I wrote down bubble wrap as a matter of fact that it’s funny or, or, or bubbles blowing bubbles, you know? So you really have to look. And for some people I know it takes a second because it,

Christie:
Yeah. Well, some people listening to this might be like, I am not blowing bubbles. Are you kidding me? But what would you say to someone like that who was a little bit cynical? Like how do you, yeah,

Dorci:
The first thing I ask is if someone is being very resistant, I asked her, why are you being resistant? What are you not wanting to either look at it or break through? What are you cleaning so hard too, that you’re not allowing any joy in your life? You know, how is that serving you? And sometimes it’s those hard questions that have to be asked for someone to start going, Oh, I didn’t realize because let’s face it. We don’t always see our own stuff, you know? And that were maybe on the victim bus or at the struggle bus or the poopy bus or whatever bus it is.

Dorci:
You know, we may not realize that we’re there because that’s a habit too. Right. That’s a non serving habit we had gotten into. And so I’ve had people when I’ve done different teachings or different dance classes or whatever. And because I teach a healing dance therapy as well, I find people that are very resistant and I said, okay, I understand. I just want you to ask yourself, why are you resisting this? That is going to set you up for a further success. And you know, sometimes when you ask it in those ways, then that, you know, their guard goes down. Cause you’re not in their face. Like some coaches would be, well, why aren’t you doing this? You know, it’s good for you. I don’t deal well with that. I don’t like the, in your face blame.

Dorci:
I like more of the asking you, why are you not willing to do this? Because eventually the more you ask that that person will finally come to, well, I grew up thinking that it’s childish to do that. Or I, you know, I need to be doing these other things because so-and-so said, all right, have to go about it this way. And you realize that they go, Oh wow. They really want that. They just took someone else’s beliefs and made it not OK. And they didn’t realize so that they did do that.

Christie:
Right. So

Dorci:
That’s kind of where I start with those people and just let him know if, you know, it’s a safe space that, you know, when I’m, when I’m working with someone or talking, you, even with the crowd, it’s a safe place too, you know, kinda let your guard down. And in all, honestly, if they’re not willing to then maybe just the, at that moment at that time, and that’s where they need to be.

Christie:
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And, and we all grew up, you know, having some kind of example and our childhood wear, you know, depending on your personality type and how that fit into the family dynamic, you could of been told anything from, Oh, don’t be so shy or you need to be more serious or can’t to settle down or, you know, and, and we don’t realize that that has now become part of the fabric of our, of our thinking, our programming in our minds.

Dorci:
Yeah. So we know it, it starts, you know, I think I understand the need for this is just sort of a non self fulfilling prophecy that we create ourselves. And it starts to in preschool, what is the first thing that, you know, when you get in preschool, sit down, be quiet, you know, don’t speak unless you’re spoken to you and your legs to yourself. Yes, exactly. Criss cross applesauce. If you have kids don’t eat anything other than your lunch. And then if you are out of the classroom, it’s getting Aline, you know, a person in front of you, the person behind keep your hands to yourself, you don’t say anything and you walk alive and you sit and think about it.

Dorci:
We do that all the way up through, you know, as I substitute taught for a couple of years and even through middle school. So really you’re not able to break out of that until maybe high school. So by then your 14, 15, that’s a lot of years being told what to do, you how to say it, how to move, how to talk, don’t do this. And it’s hard to break out of that, you know? And then of course your parents, or do you act up in class, you’re going to get it when you get home. So you kind of getting a boat, you know? And so its kind of, you know, it’s, it’s unfortunately sad and I get it, but you know, I’m also hearing to let people know if it’s okay to call her outside the lines and to break free.

Dorci:
Right?

Christie:
Yeah. I was actually a friend of mine organized one of these dance therapy sessions. I don’t know if it’s this long thing that you, you do or what it’s called or whatever. But it was so interesting because there was, there was a point where it’s like, you know, show that we had like pop music or whatever on, but it was like, you know, dance, like your super depressed or anxious or whatever that low feeling is. And then now dance like you’re super happy or super excited or whatever. And it was so interesting just to not have any rules, you know, like there wasn’t, I wasn’t trying to look good. It was just like expression and just being free.

Christie:
And it’s like, you know, before, sometimes before meetings, this is like, I’m, I’m telling on myself, but before meetings, like I’ll just dance. So I’ll see, I’ll put up some music or whatever. And it just helps me to get out of my head because I can be very cerebral and logical because of what I do for a living. And just to get, you know, kinda put that energy back into my body and get myself grounded a little bit before I get on a call, I feel like I’m so much more centered when I get on the call. And it sounds super silly to put on something like I have the tiger or something like that before.

Christie:
Right.

Dorci:
Well, that’s a great way, but it works, you know, or you or Katie Perry roar, you know, that’s another really good way to anthems for sure. You know, and think it though a lot out of the big time speakers will do that same kind of thing because it gets them out of, and it’s more of, you know, for, for a lot of people listening will understand this probably really well that more Business left brain or ego. And it gets you into the serving mind because when you’re in a certain mindset for your company, your employee’s for whoever your speaking to, or just whatever it is your doing out in the world, then you don’t, you’re not concerned and you don’t care with what comes out because what comes out and it goes through his exactly what that meant for those people, for that meeting, whatever, when you’re in that ego spaces, when you get all flustered and you get all angry and you do it and everything comes across as inauthentic.

Dorci:
And I know you’ve seen people like it.

Christie:
Oh yeah, totally. It was a total disconnect between the brain and the heart. And you can totally tell like baby either memorize their speech and they were up there and just remembering the line’s, you know, really good actors’ for example, but not only do they know the words, but they’ve really taken the time, like how does that feel and what, you know, what kind of expression comes out? And that’s the difference? I think between a really great speaker and one who’s just like one note monotonous. She wants to listen to that. No one more.

Dorci:
And especially now, because you know, people are smart, they are savvy. They had seen enough coaches and speakers and programs and you name it. You know, they want the authentic, you know, and I can give a speech to, and I did it in Atlanta. It was three different groups in one day. And every speech was a little bit different because I was watching and feeling what they picked up on what they resonated with the, the head shakes and the ahas. And, and I thought, okay, they’re getting this part. I’m going to focus on that. They still got overall the same message. And those are the people that, you know, I want to be like, and that I want others to see that and go, Oh, you know, that’s what that looks like when you’re in the moment and being intentional instead of just, okay, I got to say this, I’m going to say this.

Dorci:
Isn’t a good to go out and I’m going to go to the stage and I got to go to the us and then I got to go home and pick up on that. And that’s exhausting for the audience.

Christie:
It is, it is. And being able to be in that flow and being able to have that balance of, you know, when you’re speaking, especially it’s like being able to read the room and being that present where you’re not in your head, you’re not trying to think of what you want to say next. You’re listening to the person talking or giving a discussion point and then you’re reacting to that as opposed to, okay, what am I going to say when I’m going to go, what am I going to say? And like, that’s so true. What you said. I never thought of like left brain and right. Brain being like ego versus service. Like at first I was like, I don’t know if I agree with you, but whatever. Like, I totally can see that like your right brain is definitely like the creative and you know, it’s definitely more intuitive.

Christie:
It would be open to open as really a good word for it to like open to others feedback open to even, even like thoughts that may seemingly come from nowhere that you’re like, not sure if I could trust that or not. And just saying it and going with it like nine times out of 10, I might even say 10 times out of 10, it ends up being exactly what needs to be said,

Dorci:
Oh, how hard is it? Yes. And a lot of times it’s not even what I plan, you know, because I, and I was guilty of this for a while. You know, of talking with someone or being in a room and I was so excited. They were things that I wanted to say, but I wasn’t listening to the conversation or feeling the energy and then I didn’t get out of it, what I should and the people didn’t get what they need it. And I was like, Oh, wait a minute. You know? And, and I think a whole lot of things in this world would be a first of all, is solved quickly. There would be less assumptions and we would have a much happier, easier place if we would all be in the conversation that we’re having instead of around it and letting go of the ego and trying to be right.

Dorci:
They don’t always have to be bright right now, you know,

Christie:
As I say, right. But yes, so true. And, and you know, one thing that someone taught me, which is, I feel it goes right along with, this is like, you know, they say, what does it like, it’s the number one, fear, maybe number two, fear of people to public speak or write and gets the head of death. Like they’re more afraid of speaking in front of others than dying, which is a lot. But one person was telling me who’s a professional speaker said, you know, if you were nervous before getting up, I mean, it, it, it’s normal.

Christie:
It’s not like, you know, even the best speakers and fallible, and it doesn’t get a little bit of butterflies or jitters before. But if, if it’s all consuming, you know, if it’s, if it’s an unhealthy amount of nervousness, that means that you’re making it about you and not them. And if you can just open yourself up to, Hey, I’m here to deliver a message and to be of service to these people, then now it’s not about you. And then the nervousness just dwindles away. And you’re so much more relaxed and can give that message. And, and it can be given with emotion and with presence so that it really helps to sink in with other people listening.

Dorci:
It is, I agree with you on a a hundred percent, because I was even on a stage where it was on a panel and there were four of us with the host and in here’s the thing, a lot of people don’t realize most of the time, you’re not going to be on stage or on a panel without already knowing for the most part, what you’re talking about or what they’re going to ask you, you know, ’cause, they also don’t wanna be set up for having some kind of crazy response or whatever. So you’d go on knowing for the most part of you, of what you’re going to say. We were sitting backstage, you’re getting mixed up and every other person had notes. And I was like, why do you have notes?

Dorci:
He said, well, I, you know, I just want to make sure that I say to him, I said, we had already submitted our stuff. We know she’s only going to set us up to succeed because it would make her look that as a host, if she didn’t do that. And secondly, it’s your staff, it’s your stuff. I know, you know, your stuff. And whatever comes out is met at that moment. And I was so happy that all the rest of them put their notes down. We just went out on stage and had a great panel. And I thought, wow. And these were people that have been speaking for years. And I was like, my goodness, guys just give from your heart because that’s all they want anyway.

Dorci:
And here’s another thing to anyone listening that speaks or realized is that right?

Christie:
We all know that, like, in a way, I just want to say like for people or like this, this doesn’t apply. Like it totally does because every day, you know, if you’re a business owner or even if you’re not, it’s like every day, you’re somehow presenting some kind of a message or communication to another that you want them to listen to and take to heart.

Dorci:
Oh my gosh. Yes. Everything we do, we’re either selling or being sold to. And I don’t mean like, you know, in a salesy, creepy pushy is just, we are all my children,

Christie:
So I’m going to bed every night.

Dorci:
Yes. We can do that. And here’s the thing for people that, you know, like, I guess if you were saying our speaker’s or realize they need to be in this world of, you know, video, you know, consuming everything is more, I mean, yes, it is to be on video because that also expedites that no, like, and trust factor of people that you were wanting to reach. No one, no one knows what you were going to say. So they don’t know if you forgot it in. If you messed it up, they have no clue. That’s right. That’s the awesome thing. So when you learn that, it makes it so easy to speak in a board room, in a conference room or on a stage for five people for 5,500, 5,000 or whatever it might, yes.

Dorci:
You still get nervous and butterflies. It just takes that staying out. Like, what if I mess up, what did I say the wrong thing when you know your giving from the heart and you’re just there to serve and bless people with what you have. You don’t care. You just go and you say what comes through, because again, nobody’s going to know, because you didn’t give him your notes.

Christie:
That’s all right. I was like this conversation. This is like, we didn’t have an agenda. It’s not like we want it to go through point’s one, two, three. It’s like, this is a conversation. And it’s like, whatever comes through, we’re just, we’re just testing, you know, trusting that, you know, what, what needs to come through. So,

Dorci:
Oh, of course. And I liked kind of winging it, right?

Christie:
Yeah. I do too. Not everyone was comfortable with that. Right. But we just talk about some reasons why,

Dorci:
And, and that’s perfectly fine, you know, and I love things to be conversational ’cause then people that we, we, when it’s conversational, there’s more stories that come out or more examples that are realistic. And then people listening and people can put themselves in that story and have their own Oh yes. Moments Are, Oh, aha. Again, you know, instead of it, if it was just a point by point, which is great because it was nothing wrong with that and work for some people, I, you’d better kind of through storytelling and examples.

Christie:
Yeah. Very, very good. Well, speaking of which, you know, tell us a story full of, you know, either a breakthrough that you personally had using some of these tips that you’ve shared or that of a client,

Dorci:
You know, I actually have one that refers to its kind of a big one and it started my health holistic journey because, you know, we unfortunately are in a society where we want quick fixes or a quick results for everything, whether it’s in our business, personal lives, healthy, whatever. And when I was 30, I ended up in the hospital twice in about a 12 month period, almost exactly to the DEI in 12 months. And I was like, okay, I’m listening to what’s going on here. One was for my, my gut digestive and one was from my heart. And so that was kind of scary and ended up being on five or six different medications. And a lot of people would have been on that for the rest of their life.

Dorci:
’cause they would just say, okay, that’s my lot in my life. This is what I ended up with. And I went okay, is that the vision under the healthy, happy in life that I want to be tied to the doctors to be tied to business, to be tied to the prescriptions. And I thought that’s just not a, a good vision for me personally. And so I switched it, but what am I going to have to do? So I started working really hard. I’ve gotten off every single medication. I haven’t had any shots, any, no vaccines of any kind, no antibiotics, no nothing in over 16 years. Wow. So it, you can set your mind to anything, whether it’s health and making a switch, or whether it’s in business and not happy with something and switching, I just decided this was what I was going to do.

Dorci:
So I started looking for people and I’m a really big believer on mentors or coaches, you know, people helping you and then just doing those steps. So that was one of the things that I did for myself, because let’s face it. You can have a fantastic business, you can have a ton of money in the bank. You can have a very healthy relationship. And if your health is not there, by the time you get to the point where you created a legacy or whatever, and you want to enjoy it, you’re not going to have the help to do it right now, or like other things, you know,

Christie:
Health is paramount to everything. If you don’t have health, it’s, it’s hard to have anything else

Dorci:
It is. And the end, and that’s the story. A lot of people can relate to is help because whether or not you had your own health story, we probably have somebody in your family or a close friend that has had a, you know, a, a situation in, and I actually told a good news story today. It was about a church in Dallas who through their donations paid off $2.6 million in medical debt for over 2,400 families because medical debt accounts for about 66 and a half million dollars of medical debt.

Dorci:
It’s amazing. It’s amazing. Oh, I’m sorry. Yes, it was 66 and a half percent of bankruptcies. I’m sorry. I said that wrong is due to medical debt, 66 and a half percent.

Christie:
Yeah. And 2,400 families. They were right.

Dorci:
Wow. That’s really, our finances are a big stressor for a lot of people, you know? And, and in granted, I, you know, thinking about money, there’s a lot of people that have a ton of money in Are just as happy as the people that have what I would say, like just enough. So money is not an indicator of Happiness, right. That, that has to come from within. And so, you know, like I said, that was just a story for the out of the health piece. ’cause how does it affect, I really like to say health affects everything from your waste to your wallet. Yeah. And it does. Yeah.

Christie:
I can totally see that. Yeah. I, you know, and, and what you said about our minds being so powerful and being able to, you know, and we’re not advocating that people go off their medications, right?

Dorci:
No, no, that’s what you did, but yes.

Christie:
You know, and it’s interesting. I’ve been studying the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. I don’t know if I’m saying that. Right. Are you familiar with his work, super human or something like that as yes. And he is, he’s a medical doctor and he is actually advocating a lot of quantum psychology or, or a medicine, or I don’t know how, what exactly he calls it, but it’s, it’s becoming that perf picture, perfect version of health for you. And, and he offers some really cool tips about how to actually go about doing that.

Christie:
So I love that. Yeah. It’s yeah. It’s a pretty, pretty neat M all right. Well, any, any final thoughts for us?

Dorci:
Oh my gosh. Well, I could talk forever, you know that, but I do, I want to circle back to one thing because we talked about affirmations and then no, of course we got on a tangent. Here’s what I do want to say something, you know, in addition to the gratitude, talking about affirmation is because I know a lot of people hear about that and they think, Oh, okay. I’ll just start putting some affirmations in, you know, I am or whatever, or I have whatever, the thing with affirmations that really gets me out in the world that when you see people talking about this is, yes, they’re great. If you put the action in behind it. Right.

Christie:
Well, and also if you believe it two, right? So you can have a lot of resistance to whatever affirmation and you could be sitting there saying the affirmation and then in your mind, you’re like, yeah,

Dorci:
Yeah. That’s not going to happen. So, yeah.

Christie:
I’m glad. Yeah. I, before I forget, I just wanted to say it, like, I’ve actually come up with like a, or actually it was taught this by one of my mentors is how to frame an affirmation so that it gets rid of all the resistance. Oh. And so instead of saying I am, or I have you say, you just add, what would it feel like, or what does it feel like to have or to be, and then fill in the blank. And what that does is, I don’t know if it’s NLP neural linguistic programming or what, but it, what it does is it, it actually, you know, causes you to ask yourself, well, what would that feel like?

Christie:
And then pretty soon you start feeling that, which just makes it believable. And then eventually, yeah, you could have the, I am statements and things like that.

Dorci:
Yes. And here’s another one way you could do that. I like that. Or someone that may be a bit resistant and in, in that place of joy and they say in the first thing, their subconscious mind says, Oh yeah, right. You don’t have to stay for that or whatever. And in other ways, you know, and some people would say, you know, I have a million dollars in the bank, you know, and of course their mind starts to go, okay, you don’t really have that. You don’t even have a thousand dollars in the bank. You know, what is, what are you talking about? You can also say, I am happy that I am Creating in a million dollars so that, you know,

Christie:
M I N G statement yes.

Dorci:
That, you know, or I’m thrilled, whatever word you want to put in there, because it, it makes your mind go to the, Oh, I’m Creating, or I’m, you know, I was thrilled that I am in the process of having, you know, so that’s that nice little, you know, your stuff is awesome. And then having this to, you know, is a great couple of things. I love that intermediary to getting to the, where you finally believe that you can have it, you’re worthy to have it, and it’s yours. You just have to step into it and it will be there. Yeah. I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. This has been an awesome conversation Dorsey. I’m so glad to know.

Dorci:
How can people learn more about you? Well, you know, they can go to my website is probably one of the easiest way to see all kinds of stuff about me and that play with me. retreats.com. Well, that’s probably the quickest, easiest way. So I’ll put that in the show notes for people. That’s great. And then do you have a free gift or something that you would like to offer the listeners? I do you know that the happiness or the habitual handbook, the habitual Happiness handbook that I was talking about this, I downloaded it. That’s fabulous. I would love for people to be able to have that because it’s okay. I don’t get frustrated. It’s about 35 ish pages.

Dorci:
However, just do one thing at a time, you know, and there was several seven different steps, but that is bit dot Lee, L Y forward slash Happiness handbook, real easy. Awesome. And I’ll put that, I’ll put all the links and the app suggestions in the show notes as well. Perfect, perfect conversation. We’ll thank you so much.